And There It Is.

Dear Magic Baby Stick,

Am I pregnant for real?

Love, 

Big Dyke Mama

This is from yesterday morning, and all I wanted to do when I got home from work yesterday was sleep, so you get it today.  Sorry it's fuzzy, but it was 5:15am and I wasn't into fucking with the camera.  And I may or may not have been too busy jumping up and down.  So, there it is.  It's real.

Had a bit of trouble focusing at work yesterday, as you might imagine.  And we're now up to THREE co-workers who've asked me if I'm pregnant in the last few days.  So something's up.  Was someone peeking over my shoulder when I was filling out the intake form for flu shots the other day and checked the "pregnant" box?  Cos they gotta know that's 1) illegal and 2) bad form to barrage me with questions to try to get the scoop.

In theory, no scoop till Christmastime, but this Mama's no good at secrets and I may not last that long.  I'm pretty sure I'll tell my boss in a week or so.

Lessons learned yesterday:  Protein is your BFF.  I started out the morning with a co-worker's homemade cinnamon rolls (I hate cinnamon rolls, but had been craving them.  Weird.) but a few minutes later I just wanted to toss them.  Early morning sugar=ohgawdkillmenow.  I ran across the street and had them make me a breakfast burrito with tofu in place of eggs, and that settled everything out.  I am going to have to keep a tub of cottage cheese handy in the work fridge and a pack of jerky in my desk.  Give this Mama her protein and nobody gets hurt.

Also, I am digesting food at lightning speed.  Usually, meals would sit in my belly for hours.  That's just not happening right now.  I am going to have to start carrying Luna Bars in my purse.

Also, bleeding gums is a real thing.  My mouth feels crazy-torn-up.  I have a dentist appointment in November, so I think I'll just hang tight until then, gently brushing and flossing as usual.

I haven't noticed any food/smell aversions yet, but the weird cravings I've had so far for things that I don't normally like are: Cinnamon Rolls (like I mentioned before), Orange Juice, Pizza, and Spaghetti & Meatballs.  <-- I know.  It's unAmerican to dislike these things.  But it's just the way it is.

 

But yesterday I had a nice lunch with Aunt J, and then Z came by my desk with a card and celebratory Russian chocolate.  Gawd, I love Russian chocolate.

~~~~

This morning I woke up and my first thought was, "Why do I feel like I have to barf?"

OH YEAH.

Welcome to Morning Sickness!  Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahoooooooooooooooooo!

Could it be true?

Seriously heart-breaking couple o' weeks we've had here -- I think there is some universal astrological nonsense that has been stirred up -- so I almost hesitate to post good (!!!) news.

Three positive pregnancy tests.  For reals.  Although, the test line is waaaaay lighter than the control line.  Like too pale to photograph.  Because I totally would post you a picture if I could.  But I'm pretty sure that pale lines still count.

And because three tests are not enough for this good-news skeptic (not usually, just lately), I'm totally testing again in the morning, but this time, we're going digital, baby.

I'll call the doctor soon.

Also, today two co-workers asked me, in unrelated, random conversations, if I was pregnant.  This must be coming off me like diesel fumes.

Fingers, toes, and legs crossed!  Stick, Little Homer*! Stick!

*Little Homer: my Cute Dad came up with this one.  Homer, fortunately or un-, is a family name, and Dadzilla has promised me fortunes if I use "Homer" in a child's name.  So until we come up with something better....