Rough Week, Nice Weekend

So we had a rough week here at Big Dyke Mama's house.  Eleventh Kid is having a rough time at school and with the program he's in.  It hasn't really translated over into to home life, but there have been some concerned emails between us and his case manager.  Also a visit from a police officer.  Ugh.

I've heard this from other foster parents, and I'm sure there are plenty of bio parents who could say the same thing.  The way they are at home is not indicative of the way they are at school.  At home we have thoughtful discussions, he uses his manners, he asks for help when he needs it, he is eager to help with chores and tasks.  I hear at school he is argumentative, disruptive, and will refuse to participate in class.  This is not the sweetheart that I know.

I do think, however, that some progress got made.  We'll see how that pans out next week.  I think he's starting to grasp that bad behavior and acting out are not the way that he should go about trying to get things to change.  People are more likely to listen to your requests if you are trying your hardest rather protesting your hardest.  (I get that that isn't always true, so just trust me that in this particular situation it IS true.)

Even after a rough week, we still had a nice weekend.  Lots of laundry and cooking got done, lots of TV-watching got done, lots of reading got done, lots of planning got done, lots of shopping got done.  He likes patterns the way I like patterns: Taco Tuesday, Sausage Thursday, Patsy's Pizza and El Tapatio alternate Fridays.  This makes meal planning WAY easier.  :)  One pop per day, one Pop-Tart per day, one Clif Bar per day.  All the junk food wears away at my soul a little bit, but I can't change someone's eating habits overnight.  Slowly slowly we are working toward maybe a bit more whole fruit and maybe some nuts for a snack and maybe you can just have a glass of water instead of the pre-packaged snacks.  The food bill is insanely high this month, and it's all in pre-packaged snacks!

Everyone is well-fed, though; Eleventh Kid said he's put on almost one pound since arriving.  (Good, cos he's skinny.)  He's enjoying my cooking and wants to start learning some more cooking skills from me.  He even trusts me enough at this point to start meal-planning without his input!  Ha!  Little does he know that will mean more veggies and less meat!  Ha!

So here's hoping that next week goes more smoothly than the last.  I really really love this kid and I really really want good things to happen for him.

Sorry, I Got Busy Being a Mama.

Good Morning!  Everyone's still asleep, so let's just rattle down a list of things we've accomplished and then I'll talk about mah kids.

The Honey-Do List?  Done.

Certification? Done.

Training Meeting? Done.

Engagement?  Done.

Wedding & Honeymoon?  Mostly planned.  July.  Stay tuned.

*****

We started having kids in our home in late April.  Respite Foster Care.  Just teenagers, just one at a time, just on weekends.

First kid?  Rad.  Funny, talented, sweet, helpful, kind.  The three of us connected really well.  We put it out into the Universe that we'd be happy to host her again, should it ever come up.  She put it out into the Universe, too.

Second kid?  Rad.  Super-polite, helpful, funny, hard-working, sweet.  I was kind of worried about having a teenage boy cos I don't have a lot of experience with teenage boys, but he made it easy on us.  I think we unlocked an achievement level when we were a lesbian couple at the farmers market with our mixed-race teenager.

Third kid?  Same at the first.  A little bit huggy, and a not-at-all worse.  The Universe (or, you know, her social worker) put us back together.  And we're having a great time.  Went to the Teddy Bear Parade in Oregon City -- and we both had a great time throwing candy at the crowd!  She came with me for a little bit of religious-birthday celebration time, and then we got a see DM off to her gig chaperoning Prom at her school.  Then a little shopping trip (this kid loves to shop like I do), then Mike's for cheeseburgers (and fried pickles, COME ON), then a Movie (The Book of Life -- which I need to go buy due to it's feminist lead female) and she played with my hair and makeup (I am so damn pretty)!  We may go back to the Clackamette Festival today.... who wants to ride the Ferris Wheel?!?!

Observations in Parenthood, Month One:

I totally thought I would parent like my mother.  Our personalities are very similar.  But, lo and behold, I parent more like my father.  It's kind of hard to explain without making both of my parents sound ridiculous (and they are not quite ridiculous), so I'll just leave it at that.

I thought I'd be super uptight about schedules and meal plans and all that and I'm not.  I'm really pretty good about rolling with the punches and altering the schedule as needed.  I'm not sure that this will translate exactly when we get to the point of full-time parenting, but for now I'm comfortable with this.

I really am exhausted as fuck, but I am also stupid happy to be doing this.  My blood pressure has actually been going DOWN.

But the thing that totally blew my mind is how freakin' turned on I am by DM at the end of the weekend.  She is an excellent parent, she is cool and funny, she is a good listener, and she is just generally good at connecting with these kids.  It makes sense -- biologically speaking -- that I should be turned on by a partner who has good parenting skills, that I should want to reproduce with said individual.  So all this boils down to is that I am totally marrying the right person.

YAY!

Twue Wuv

Tonight, as we were walking back to our house from dinner (YES! Our new house is dinner-walkable to many places!), DM says to me she says,

"Honey, you're my dream girl.  You're girly and manly all at the same time, and so much more."

Can't ask for much better!