Foster Care Orientation

What a great class put on by Boys and Girls Aid!  We have a much better idea of the steps and timelines involved in adopting out of foster care.

This was only one of the first steps.  Next, we'll attend a Foundations training in February -- an intense 3-day slam training that will give us a better idea of how to handle issues that will come up in parenting a special needs child.  This is something that is run by Boys and Girls Aid, but blessed by the State.

Once we complete that course, it's applications, questionnaires and homestudy time!  This could take 3-6 months to complete. 

Then our application can be submitted to caseworkers who are looking for families for children.  If our application is chosen as a finalist, then it will go to an impartial committee for selection.  This could happen several times over several years, so it's best to not fall in love with the children we see in adoption bulletins.  We've been advised.

A random collection of thoughts:

The roller-coaster of emotions would be hard for anyone, but it might be harder for those who've struggled with infertility or pregnancy loss.  I will likely be seeking counseling sometime in the near future, to make sure all my ducks are in a row before we delve too deeply into this process.

DM and I are still a new-ish couple.  We will be less-so by the time all is said and done, but we're still getting to know each other.  We are also going to be seeking couple's counseling to be sure we're on the same page and ready to support each other and our budding family.

The State of Oregon places children in families by way of committee.  You don't get to meet the children ahead of time.  But we learned that studies show that this has a better long-term success rate than other states that will have "Adoption Picnics" and the like.

It's interesting that you can be a foster parent for a long time without a child being placed with you that you'll have the option to adopt.  I think we're going about it the right way, in that we're on the adoption track and not on the foster care track.

DM and I are interested in children in the 4+ set, but especially teenagers.  It breaks my heart every time I hear about kids aging out of foster care.  It became especially obvious to DM and I when we read The Language of Flowers over the summer.  How about sibling groups?  Heck, yeah!  Sign us up.

We built a big binder to keep all our information together.  That was a pretty exciting activity for our Friday night!  Woo!

There's still so much to learn, still so much to do, still so much to sort through.  Really glad I've got that Darling M with me on this part of the journey.

Peace --Big Dyke Mama

Well, HELLO 2014!

Happy New Year!

A lot has happened in the past few months, so let me fill you in.  And I won't wait so long next time.

I started dating again.  

But that's not exactly what happened.  

My friend V was approached on Ye Olde OKC by the Darling M.  But V, selfless as she is, said Darling M should check out the profile of one Big Dyke Mama.  Funny thing that Darling M and I had been checking out each others' profiles for years and had never done anything about it.  Huh!

So the Darling M (let's just shorten that up to DM) and I went on a date, then another, then another, then another.  And then we were girlfriends.  And then the L-bomb was dropped.

And there was much rejoicing in all the land!

DM is smart and funny and weird and sweet.  And HAWT.  And she wants kids as much as I do.  SCORE.

So, while we've been growing our relationship, we've also been talking about paths toward motherhood.  I could go into detail here, but I won't; it could fill whole other blog posts.

Anyway, one thing we are both interested in is adopting out of Foster Care.  We attended an Adoption Information Fair put on by Adoption Mosaic in November, which cemented things for us.  Tomorrow we attend an Adoption Orientation through Boys & Girls Aid.

The timing feels good.  Last week was the one-year anniversary of losing Homer.  It was an awful day, but things continue to look brighter.  Onward, friends!