This morning, DM and I are off to another training put on by Boys & Girls Aid. I think this one is about Teenagers in Foster Care, which is where our focus will be.
We've been assembling some of our paperwork for the Foster Care application, and today we're turning in what we have so far, also.
Our extra insurance is all set up, budgeting done, some of the medical stuff done (I still need a physical) and our huge questionnaires are being worked on. So! Many! Questions!
Maybe I'll post some of the answers here... some interesting stuff has come up in them.
Happy Saturday, all!
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Monday, June 2, 2014
#LGBTQfamilies
Hey! It's been a couple of months since I posted -- oops -- but today is Mombian's 9th Annual Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day! So let's talk about what's been happening in Big Dyke Mama's Family!
In April, DM and I submitted our application to adopt out of the foster care system. While they like us (and who wouldn't? We're adorable), because we hadn't yet been together for a full year, they recommended waiting at least six more months before submitting for the Homestudy. The reason being that when the Homestudy is written, they will state how long we've been together, not the date we got together. So even if our Homestudy is submitted to a caseworker in 2016, it will still say that we've been together for a year, NOT that we've been together since May of 2013. Eeek! So, waiting a bit improves our chances of not having our Homestudy dismissed out of hand.
In the meantime, we are going to work toward being respite care providers for foster kids. It will require mandatory monthly meetings with the agency, but that's no problem.
In May, DM and I celebrated our one-year anniversary by re-creating our first date. My co-worker thought that was so romantic she cried when I told her.
Also in May, Marriage Equality came to Oregon! That's big news! Will DM and Big Dyke Mama be tying the knot?
It'll make the paperwork easier...
It'll make taxes easier...
And, you know, love and all that mushy stuff...
But no proposals or decisions have been made, so stay tuned.
That's enough excitement for tonight! Be blessed --Big Dyke Mama
In April, DM and I submitted our application to adopt out of the foster care system. While they like us (and who wouldn't? We're adorable), because we hadn't yet been together for a full year, they recommended waiting at least six more months before submitting for the Homestudy. The reason being that when the Homestudy is written, they will state how long we've been together, not the date we got together. So even if our Homestudy is submitted to a caseworker in 2016, it will still say that we've been together for a year, NOT that we've been together since May of 2013. Eeek! So, waiting a bit improves our chances of not having our Homestudy dismissed out of hand.
In the meantime, we are going to work toward being respite care providers for foster kids. It will require mandatory monthly meetings with the agency, but that's no problem.
In May, DM and I celebrated our one-year anniversary by re-creating our first date. My co-worker thought that was so romantic she cried when I told her.
Also in May, Marriage Equality came to Oregon! That's big news! Will DM and Big Dyke Mama be tying the knot?
It'll make the paperwork easier...
It'll make taxes easier...
And, you know, love and all that mushy stuff...
But no proposals or decisions have been made, so stay tuned.
That's enough excitement for tonight! Be blessed --Big Dyke Mama
Friday, April 4, 2014
Twue Wuv
Tonight, as we were walking back to our house from dinner (YES! Our new house is dinner-walkable to many places!), DM says to me she says,
"Honey, you're my dream girl. You're girly and manly all at the same time, and so much more."
Can't ask for much better!
"Honey, you're my dream girl. You're girly and manly all at the same time, and so much more."
Can't ask for much better!
Monday, March 17, 2014
Moving Update!
My feet hurt for the blisters on both heels.
I have multiple bruises on every extremity.
My sore back sends shooting pain down both legs.
My neck and shoulders are full of knots.
Exhaustion has rendered circles under both eyes that give the impression I've been in a fight.
And I still have work to do at the old place.
Not much, though. I should finish up on Wednesday night. And that can't come soon enough.
But the new house is fun! We're still living out of boxes, but I'm determined that I will cook a pasta dinner in our kitchen tomorrow.
I love our patio, and we've already hung out there a bit during the recent rainstorm.
We had our new washer/dryer delivered and installed yesterday, and there is a load just finishing up in the dryer now. Laundry is one of those things that makes me ridiculously happy.
DM's Spring Break is coming up next week and we'll start building our planter beds. This is also something that makes me ridiculously happy! Remember last summer when I couldn't stop talking about my tomatoes? This year will be even better. We're starting to price out upright freezers so we can put up more veggies!
There may be a housewarming party in our future.... stay tuned!
In the meantime, I'm putting my tired, sore body to bed. Night-night.
I have multiple bruises on every extremity.
My sore back sends shooting pain down both legs.
My neck and shoulders are full of knots.
Exhaustion has rendered circles under both eyes that give the impression I've been in a fight.
And I still have work to do at the old place.
Not much, though. I should finish up on Wednesday night. And that can't come soon enough.
But the new house is fun! We're still living out of boxes, but I'm determined that I will cook a pasta dinner in our kitchen tomorrow.
I love our patio, and we've already hung out there a bit during the recent rainstorm.
We had our new washer/dryer delivered and installed yesterday, and there is a load just finishing up in the dryer now. Laundry is one of those things that makes me ridiculously happy.
DM's Spring Break is coming up next week and we'll start building our planter beds. This is also something that makes me ridiculously happy! Remember last summer when I couldn't stop talking about my tomatoes? This year will be even better. We're starting to price out upright freezers so we can put up more veggies!
There may be a housewarming party in our future.... stay tuned!
In the meantime, I'm putting my tired, sore body to bed. Night-night.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Long Weekend of Joy and Joyness
This weekend, we've been in foster care Foundations training. It is so much more fun than we thought it would be! They've really done a bang-up job of keeping everything interesting and thought-provoking over the loooooooong weekend.
We're also starting to make friends with the folks at our table, P & I, and W & M. I really hope that we maintain contact after the class. Like, what if they joined Dining Club??
In other news... we get the keys to our new place in just a few days!! Life is so good!!
We're also starting to make friends with the folks at our table, P & I, and W & M. I really hope that we maintain contact after the class. Like, what if they joined Dining Club??
In other news... we get the keys to our new place in just a few days!! Life is so good!!
Monday, February 10, 2014
Goodwill
Obviously, I've struggled with this for over a year now, but today I put the maternity clothes in the Goodwill pile.
Blessing somebody else and moving on!
Blessing somebody else and moving on!
Friday, February 7, 2014
We have a house!
We have a house!
We have a house!
Everything was approved for a cute little 3-bedroom in Oak Grove. Plenty of room in the South-facing backyard for a garden. A big covered patio so barbeques aren't ruined by surprise rain. A garage for my studio. A fireplace for cozy evenings. A good-size kitchen with lots of counter-space for rolling out pie crust or carving pumpkins. Walking distance to the farmer's market in the summer. It's dreamy.
DM is pooping herself she's so happy. I'm the type who likes to plan everything so I've been doodling floor-plans for days! We sign the lease on Valentine's Day (how romantical!) and we move in the first week of March! YAY YAY YAY!!!
(In other news: Foundations Training was cancelled due to weather. Fine by me since I lost a tire chain and am now probably mostly homebound for the duration of this snowstorm. They're looking at rescheduling sometime in the next month or so, but worst-case scenario I guess we take the training offered in May. NBD says BDM.)
Kisses! --Big Dyke Mama
We have a house!
Everything was approved for a cute little 3-bedroom in Oak Grove. Plenty of room in the South-facing backyard for a garden. A big covered patio so barbeques aren't ruined by surprise rain. A garage for my studio. A fireplace for cozy evenings. A good-size kitchen with lots of counter-space for rolling out pie crust or carving pumpkins. Walking distance to the farmer's market in the summer. It's dreamy.
DM is pooping herself she's so happy. I'm the type who likes to plan everything so I've been doodling floor-plans for days! We sign the lease on Valentine's Day (how romantical!) and we move in the first week of March! YAY YAY YAY!!!
(In other news: Foundations Training was cancelled due to weather. Fine by me since I lost a tire chain and am now probably mostly homebound for the duration of this snowstorm. They're looking at rescheduling sometime in the next month or so, but worst-case scenario I guess we take the training offered in May. NBD says BDM.)
Kisses! --Big Dyke Mama
Monday, February 3, 2014
Foundations, of the Literal and Figurative Senses
House Hunt 2014 is underway! We saw a house on Saturday and we were both excited about it, so applications are in. I have no idea when we'll know, but if we move, we're aiming for around Early- to Mid-March. Fingers crossed, toes crossed, hair braided!
Next up this week is Foundations Training! It's Friday evening, all day Saturday, and all day Sunday. Wicked intense -- yikes. If we took this class (required for adoption) from the State, it would be once a week for eight weeks. Looking at DM's and my schedules, it made more sense to get it done in a weekend. But my, what a weekend! I hope we still like each other at the end of it! ;)
Lately I keep floating between moments of hope and joy, to moments of sheer terror. I suppose, though, that's life for ya.
Be well --Big Dyke Mama
Next up this week is Foundations Training! It's Friday evening, all day Saturday, and all day Sunday. Wicked intense -- yikes. If we took this class (required for adoption) from the State, it would be once a week for eight weeks. Looking at DM's and my schedules, it made more sense to get it done in a weekend. But my, what a weekend! I hope we still like each other at the end of it! ;)
Lately I keep floating between moments of hope and joy, to moments of sheer terror. I suppose, though, that's life for ya.
Be well --Big Dyke Mama
Saturday, February 1, 2014
House Hunt!
The DM and I are looking to move in together sometime in March, which means the house-hunt starts now!
Our list looks something like this:
3 bedrooms
A yard, big and sunny enough for a garden
Lots of storage
A nice kitchen
Counter space in the bathroom
Maybe a fireplace?
Maybe a covered patio?
Close to services (bank, grocery, etc)
Under $1300/mo
DM and I compiled lists of listings off Craigslist, Zillow, and OregonLive and compared pros and cons. We see our first house later today!
Wish us luck! --Big Dyke Mama
Our list looks something like this:
3 bedrooms
A yard, big and sunny enough for a garden
Lots of storage
A nice kitchen
Counter space in the bathroom
Maybe a fireplace?
Maybe a covered patio?
Close to services (bank, grocery, etc)
Under $1300/mo
DM and I compiled lists of listings off Craigslist, Zillow, and OregonLive and compared pros and cons. We see our first house later today!
Wish us luck! --Big Dyke Mama
Monday, January 20, 2014
Foster Care Orientation
What a great class put on by Boys and Girls Aid! We have a much better idea of the steps and timelines involved in adopting out of foster care.
This was only one of the first steps. Next, we'll attend a Foundations training in February -- an intense 3-day slam training that will give us a better idea of how to handle issues that will come up in parenting a special needs child. This is something that is run by Boys and Girls Aid, but blessed by the State.
Once we complete that course, it's applications, questionnaires and homestudy time! This could take 3-6 months to complete.
Then our application can be submitted to caseworkers who are looking for families for children. If our application is chosen as a finalist, then it will go to an impartial committee for selection. This could happen several times over several years, so it's best to not fall in love with the children we see in adoption bulletins. We've been advised.
A random collection of thoughts:
The roller-coaster of emotions would be hard for anyone, but it might be harder for those who've struggled with infertility or pregnancy loss. I will likely be seeking counseling sometime in the near future, to make sure all my ducks are in a row before we delve too deeply into this process.
DM and I are still a new-ish couple. We will be less-so by the time all is said and done, but we're still getting to know each other. We are also going to be seeking couple's counseling to be sure we're on the same page and ready to support each other and our budding family.
The State of Oregon places children in families by way of committee. You don't get to meet the children ahead of time. But we learned that studies show that this has a better long-term success rate than other states that will have "Adoption Picnics" and the like.
It's interesting that you can be a foster parent for a long time without a child being placed with you that you'll have the option to adopt. I think we're going about it the right way, in that we're on the adoption track and not on the foster care track.
DM and I are interested in children in the 4+ set, but especially teenagers. It breaks my heart every time I hear about kids aging out of foster care. It became especially obvious to DM and I when we read The Language of Flowers over the summer. How about sibling groups? Heck, yeah! Sign us up.
We built a big binder to keep all our information together. That was a pretty exciting activity for our Friday night! Woo!
There's still so much to learn, still so much to do, still so much to sort through. Really glad I've got that Darling M with me on this part of the journey.
Peace --Big Dyke Mama
This was only one of the first steps. Next, we'll attend a Foundations training in February -- an intense 3-day slam training that will give us a better idea of how to handle issues that will come up in parenting a special needs child. This is something that is run by Boys and Girls Aid, but blessed by the State.
Once we complete that course, it's applications, questionnaires and homestudy time! This could take 3-6 months to complete.
Then our application can be submitted to caseworkers who are looking for families for children. If our application is chosen as a finalist, then it will go to an impartial committee for selection. This could happen several times over several years, so it's best to not fall in love with the children we see in adoption bulletins. We've been advised.
A random collection of thoughts:
The roller-coaster of emotions would be hard for anyone, but it might be harder for those who've struggled with infertility or pregnancy loss. I will likely be seeking counseling sometime in the near future, to make sure all my ducks are in a row before we delve too deeply into this process.
DM and I are still a new-ish couple. We will be less-so by the time all is said and done, but we're still getting to know each other. We are also going to be seeking couple's counseling to be sure we're on the same page and ready to support each other and our budding family.
The State of Oregon places children in families by way of committee. You don't get to meet the children ahead of time. But we learned that studies show that this has a better long-term success rate than other states that will have "Adoption Picnics" and the like.
It's interesting that you can be a foster parent for a long time without a child being placed with you that you'll have the option to adopt. I think we're going about it the right way, in that we're on the adoption track and not on the foster care track.
DM and I are interested in children in the 4+ set, but especially teenagers. It breaks my heart every time I hear about kids aging out of foster care. It became especially obvious to DM and I when we read The Language of Flowers over the summer. How about sibling groups? Heck, yeah! Sign us up.
We built a big binder to keep all our information together. That was a pretty exciting activity for our Friday night! Woo!
There's still so much to learn, still so much to do, still so much to sort through. Really glad I've got that Darling M with me on this part of the journey.
Peace --Big Dyke Mama
Monday, January 13, 2014
Well, HELLO 2014!
Happy New Year!
A lot has happened in the past few months, so let me fill you in. And I won't wait so long next time.
I started dating again.
But that's not exactly what happened.
My friend V was approached on Ye Olde OKC by the Darling M. But V, selfless as she is, said Darling M should check out the profile of one Big Dyke Mama. Funny thing that Darling M and I had been checking out each others' profiles for years and had never done anything about it. Huh!
So the Darling M (let's just shorten that up to DM) and I went on a date, then another, then another, then another. And then we were girlfriends. And then the L-bomb was dropped.
And there was much rejoicing in all the land!
DM is smart and funny and weird and sweet. And HAWT. And she wants kids as much as I do. SCORE.
So, while we've been growing our relationship, we've also been talking about paths toward motherhood. I could go into detail here, but I won't; it could fill whole other blog posts.
Anyway, one thing we are both interested in is adopting out of Foster Care. We attended an Adoption Information Fair put on by Adoption Mosaic in November, which cemented things for us. Tomorrow we attend an Adoption Orientation through Boys & Girls Aid.
The timing feels good. Last week was the one-year anniversary of losing Homer. It was an awful day, but things continue to look brighter. Onward, friends!
A lot has happened in the past few months, so let me fill you in. And I won't wait so long next time.
I started dating again.
But that's not exactly what happened.
My friend V was approached on Ye Olde OKC by the Darling M. But V, selfless as she is, said Darling M should check out the profile of one Big Dyke Mama. Funny thing that Darling M and I had been checking out each others' profiles for years and had never done anything about it. Huh!
So the Darling M (let's just shorten that up to DM) and I went on a date, then another, then another, then another. And then we were girlfriends. And then the L-bomb was dropped.
And there was much rejoicing in all the land!
DM is smart and funny and weird and sweet. And HAWT. And she wants kids as much as I do. SCORE.
So, while we've been growing our relationship, we've also been talking about paths toward motherhood. I could go into detail here, but I won't; it could fill whole other blog posts.
Anyway, one thing we are both interested in is adopting out of Foster Care. We attended an Adoption Information Fair put on by Adoption Mosaic in November, which cemented things for us. Tomorrow we attend an Adoption Orientation through Boys & Girls Aid.
The timing feels good. Last week was the one-year anniversary of losing Homer. It was an awful day, but things continue to look brighter. Onward, friends!
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