Good Morning! Everyone's still asleep, so let's just rattle down a list of things we've accomplished and then I'll talk about mah kids.
The Honey-Do List? Done.
Certification? Done.
Training Meeting? Done.
Engagement? Done.
Wedding & Honeymoon? Mostly planned. July. Stay tuned.
*****
We started having kids in our home in late April. Respite Foster Care. Just teenagers, just one at a time, just on weekends.
First kid? Rad. Funny, talented, sweet, helpful, kind. The three of us connected really well. We put it out into the Universe that we'd be happy to host her again, should it ever come up. She put it out into the Universe, too.
Second kid? Rad. Super-polite, helpful, funny, hard-working, sweet. I was kind of worried about having a teenage boy cos I don't have a lot of experience with teenage boys, but he made it easy on us. I think we unlocked an achievement level when we were a lesbian couple at the farmers market with our mixed-race teenager.
Third kid? Same at the first. A little bit huggy, and a not-at-all worse. The Universe (or, you know, her social worker) put us back together. And we're having a great time. Went to the Teddy Bear Parade in Oregon City -- and we both had a great time throwing candy at the crowd! She came with me for a little bit of religious-birthday celebration time, and then we got a see DM off to her gig chaperoning Prom at her school. Then a little shopping trip (this kid loves to shop like I do), then Mike's for cheeseburgers (and fried pickles, COME ON), then a Movie (The Book of Life -- which I need to go buy due to it's feminist lead female) and she played with my hair and makeup (I am so damn pretty)! We may go back to the Clackamette Festival today.... who wants to ride the Ferris Wheel?!?!
Observations in Parenthood, Month One:
I totally thought I would parent like my mother. Our personalities are very similar. But, lo and behold, I parent more like my father. It's kind of hard to explain without making both of my parents sound ridiculous (and they are not quite ridiculous), so I'll just leave it at that.
I thought I'd be super uptight about schedules and meal plans and all that and I'm not. I'm really pretty good about rolling with the punches and altering the schedule as needed. I'm not sure that this will translate exactly when we get to the point of full-time parenting, but for now I'm comfortable with this.
I really am exhausted as fuck, but I am also stupid happy to be doing this. My blood pressure has actually been going DOWN.
But the thing that totally blew my mind is how freakin' turned on I am by DM at the end of the weekend. She is an excellent parent, she is cool and funny, she is a good listener, and she is just generally good at connecting with these kids. It makes sense -- biologically speaking -- that I should be turned on by a partner who has good parenting skills, that I should want to reproduce with said individual. So all this boils down to is that I am totally marrying the right person.
YAY!
Questions are done! Interviews are done!
Our social worker is coming over on March 16 for the Home Visit part of our Home Study.
So, if all goes well, I think we are about a month-and-a-half away from having children in our home.
WHOA.
Still have a few things to check off the punchlist in the next few weeks...
- Replace batteries in the smoke detectors
- Install an extra smoke detector
- Install doorknobs (the kind without locks) on the bedroom doors
- Install locks on the liquor cabinet
- Install locks on the cabinets under the kitchen sink
- Get Rabies shots for the kitties
So, I'll be working on getting these done in the next couple of weeks. I'm the handy type, so it falls in my wheelhouse. If I can tackle just one thing at a time on most evenings after work, I'll be in good shape.
Wish us luck! --BDM
This morning, DM and I are off to another training put on by Boys & Girls Aid. I think this one is about Teenagers in Foster Care, which is where our focus will be.
We've been assembling some of our paperwork for the Foster Care application, and today we're turning in what we have so far, also.
Our extra insurance is all set up, budgeting done, some of the medical stuff done (I still need a physical) and our huge questionnaires are being worked on. So! Many! Questions!
Maybe I'll post some of the answers here... some interesting stuff has come up in them.
Happy Saturday, all!
Hey! It's been a couple of months since I posted -- oops -- but today is Mombian's 9th Annual Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day! So let's talk about what's been happening in Big Dyke Mama's Family!
In April, DM and I submitted our application to adopt out of the foster care system. While they like us (and who wouldn't? We're adorable), because we hadn't yet been together for a full year, they recommended waiting at least six more months before submitting for the Homestudy. The reason being that when the Homestudy is written, they will state how long we've been together, not the date we got together. So even if our Homestudy is submitted to a caseworker in 2016, it will still say that we've been together for a year, NOT that we've been together since May of 2013. Eeek! So, waiting a bit improves our chances of not having our Homestudy dismissed out of hand.
In the meantime, we are going to work toward being respite care providers for foster kids. It will require mandatory monthly meetings with the agency, but that's no problem.
In May, DM and I celebrated our one-year anniversary by re-creating our first date. My co-worker thought that was so romantic she cried when I told her.
Also in May, Marriage Equality came to Oregon! That's big news! Will DM and Big Dyke Mama be tying the knot?
It'll make the paperwork easier...
It'll make taxes easier...
And, you know, love and all that mushy stuff...
But no proposals or decisions have been made, so stay tuned.
That's enough excitement for tonight! Be blessed --Big Dyke Mama
Tonight, as we were walking back to our house from dinner (YES! Our new house is dinner-walkable to many places!), DM says to me she says,
"Honey, you're my dream girl. You're girly and manly all at the same time, and so much more."
Can't ask for much better!
My feet hurt for the blisters on both heels.
I have multiple bruises on every extremity.
My sore back sends shooting pain down both legs.
My neck and shoulders are full of knots.
Exhaustion has rendered circles under both eyes that give the impression I've been in a fight.
And I still have work to do at the old place.
Not much, though. I should finish up on Wednesday night. And that can't come soon enough.
But the new house is fun! We're still living out of boxes, but I'm determined that I will cook a pasta dinner in our kitchen tomorrow.
I love our patio, and we've already hung out there a bit during the recent rainstorm.
We had our new washer/dryer delivered and installed yesterday, and there is a load just finishing up in the dryer now. Laundry is one of those things that makes me ridiculously happy.
DM's Spring Break is coming up next week and we'll start building our planter beds. This is also something that makes me ridiculously happy! Remember last summer when I couldn't stop talking about my tomatoes? This year will be even better. We're starting to price out upright freezers so we can put up more veggies!
There may be a housewarming party in our future.... stay tuned!
In the meantime, I'm putting my tired, sore body to bed. Night-night.
This weekend, we've been in foster care Foundations training. It is so much more fun than we thought it would be! They've really done a bang-up job of keeping everything interesting and thought-provoking over the loooooooong weekend.
We're also starting to make friends with the folks at our table, P & I, and W & M. I really hope that we maintain contact after the class. Like, what if they joined Dining Club??
In other news... we get the keys to our new place in just a few days!! Life is so good!!
