I promised I would take DW out of town once Eleventh kid moved on, and here were are. Very few people know where we actually are.
We arrived last night, by train. The train was delayed by 4 hours because the weather is bad and trees kept falling on the tracks! But what did we care? We were on a train!
Getting stuck on a train is way better than getting stuck on a plane. You can walk around, there's a dining car with a bar, you can keep yourself fairly occupied and happy if you've a mind to. Someone behind us on the train was relaying the delays to someone else on her phone. "It's been HELL," she told her phone companion. DW and I giggled. So NOT hell.
Our hotel room is small and comfortable and the staff is easy-going, friendly, and helpful. DW is still asleep, of course, so I'm up doing my thing until we can head to breakfast. Maybe I'll get up and take a walk before she gets going. The town we are in is small with lots of little shops on our street.
Man, I love my wife. She's a fantastic travelling companion, as we discovered on our honeymoon adventure and it just gets confirmed on little trips like this. She's hilarious and sweet, she's weird, and she puts up with my shenanigans. I am so lucky.
We're probably going to need to take a tiny little trip like this sometime in the Spring. Where should we go?
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
Saturday, November 28, 2015
60 Days...
60 days are up and there still isn't a plan in place for where Eleventh Kid goes next. He's super nervous about it, and he gets agitated about it when he thinks about it. But I need to remind him, that it is partially due to the choices HE ALONE made. There was an opening in another program and he was offered a screening and he refused to go. Now he wants into that same program and is having trouble getting a screening. I feel bad, but, man, you made your own bed on that one.
He continues to eat like a champ. He says he's put on 40 pounds (I don't quite believe that), but he's also gained some inches since being here. Nothing like nutrition to support a growth spurt! He never quite got around to helping me in the kitchen, preferring to otherwise occupy himself with episodes of "Saved by the Bell" and "Gossip Girl."
He also never quite got around to playing video games. We have rules about how much reading you have to do make up your time playing video games. Somehow, even though he's a reader, he is never quite up to doing it. Huh.
He is super-helpful around the house, or at least has been for the past couple of weeks. He's good about checking his chore chart for things to do and ways to earn allowance. It's really great when he's on it. Yesterday we got a ton of work done around the yard in about an hour-and-a-half, just because we had so many hands working. Backyard is finally all cleaned up from the wedding in July! Ha!
I guess we are a little nervous about his next placement, also. DW is still in her first year of teaching, and doesn't get any breaks or sick days or anything. She's been sick three different times in the past seven weeks and she's running on empty. Reserves are all tapped out. So I'm doing a lot of solo-parenting, which is mostly fine, but I really like it (and he really likes it) when we can all do things together.
When Eleventh Kid moves on, I'm taking DW out of town somewhere where nobody can find us and we can just chill out for a few days and not worry about a damned thing. Can't wait.
Anyway, blessings and love for the Holidays!
He continues to eat like a champ. He says he's put on 40 pounds (I don't quite believe that), but he's also gained some inches since being here. Nothing like nutrition to support a growth spurt! He never quite got around to helping me in the kitchen, preferring to otherwise occupy himself with episodes of "Saved by the Bell" and "Gossip Girl."
He also never quite got around to playing video games. We have rules about how much reading you have to do make up your time playing video games. Somehow, even though he's a reader, he is never quite up to doing it. Huh.
He is super-helpful around the house, or at least has been for the past couple of weeks. He's good about checking his chore chart for things to do and ways to earn allowance. It's really great when he's on it. Yesterday we got a ton of work done around the yard in about an hour-and-a-half, just because we had so many hands working. Backyard is finally all cleaned up from the wedding in July! Ha!
I guess we are a little nervous about his next placement, also. DW is still in her first year of teaching, and doesn't get any breaks or sick days or anything. She's been sick three different times in the past seven weeks and she's running on empty. Reserves are all tapped out. So I'm doing a lot of solo-parenting, which is mostly fine, but I really like it (and he really likes it) when we can all do things together.
When Eleventh Kid moves on, I'm taking DW out of town somewhere where nobody can find us and we can just chill out for a few days and not worry about a damned thing. Can't wait.
Anyway, blessings and love for the Holidays!
Sunday, October 11, 2015
Rough Week, Nice Weekend
So we had a rough week here at Big Dyke Mama's house. Eleventh Kid is having a rough time at school and with the program he's in. It hasn't really translated over into to home life, but there have been some concerned emails between us and his case manager. Also a visit from a police officer. Ugh.
I've heard this from other foster parents, and I'm sure there are plenty of bio parents who could say the same thing. The way they are at home is not indicative of the way they are at school. At home we have thoughtful discussions, he uses his manners, he asks for help when he needs it, he is eager to help with chores and tasks. I hear at school he is argumentative, disruptive, and will refuse to participate in class. This is not the sweetheart that I know.
I do think, however, that some progress got made. We'll see how that pans out next week. I think he's starting to grasp that bad behavior and acting out are not the way that he should go about trying to get things to change. People are more likely to listen to your requests if you are trying your hardest rather protesting your hardest. (I get that that isn't always true, so just trust me that in this particular situation it IS true.)
Even after a rough week, we still had a nice weekend. Lots of laundry and cooking got done, lots of TV-watching got done, lots of reading got done, lots of planning got done, lots of shopping got done. He likes patterns the way I like patterns: Taco Tuesday, Sausage Thursday, Patsy's Pizza and El Tapatio alternate Fridays. This makes meal planning WAY easier. :) One pop per day, one Pop-Tart per day, one Clif Bar per day. All the junk food wears away at my soul a little bit, but I can't change someone's eating habits overnight. Slowly slowly we are working toward maybe a bit more whole fruit and maybe some nuts for a snack and maybe you can just have a glass of water instead of the pre-packaged snacks. The food bill is insanely high this month, and it's all in pre-packaged snacks!
Everyone is well-fed, though; Eleventh Kid said he's put on almost one pound since arriving. (Good, cos he's skinny.) He's enjoying my cooking and wants to start learning some more cooking skills from me. He even trusts me enough at this point to start meal-planning without his input! Ha! Little does he know that will mean more veggies and less meat! Ha!
So here's hoping that next week goes more smoothly than the last. I really really love this kid and I really really want good things to happen for him.
I've heard this from other foster parents, and I'm sure there are plenty of bio parents who could say the same thing. The way they are at home is not indicative of the way they are at school. At home we have thoughtful discussions, he uses his manners, he asks for help when he needs it, he is eager to help with chores and tasks. I hear at school he is argumentative, disruptive, and will refuse to participate in class. This is not the sweetheart that I know.
I do think, however, that some progress got made. We'll see how that pans out next week. I think he's starting to grasp that bad behavior and acting out are not the way that he should go about trying to get things to change. People are more likely to listen to your requests if you are trying your hardest rather protesting your hardest. (I get that that isn't always true, so just trust me that in this particular situation it IS true.)
Even after a rough week, we still had a nice weekend. Lots of laundry and cooking got done, lots of TV-watching got done, lots of reading got done, lots of planning got done, lots of shopping got done. He likes patterns the way I like patterns: Taco Tuesday, Sausage Thursday, Patsy's Pizza and El Tapatio alternate Fridays. This makes meal planning WAY easier. :) One pop per day, one Pop-Tart per day, one Clif Bar per day. All the junk food wears away at my soul a little bit, but I can't change someone's eating habits overnight. Slowly slowly we are working toward maybe a bit more whole fruit and maybe some nuts for a snack and maybe you can just have a glass of water instead of the pre-packaged snacks. The food bill is insanely high this month, and it's all in pre-packaged snacks!
Everyone is well-fed, though; Eleventh Kid said he's put on almost one pound since arriving. (Good, cos he's skinny.) He's enjoying my cooking and wants to start learning some more cooking skills from me. He even trusts me enough at this point to start meal-planning without his input! Ha! Little does he know that will mean more veggies and less meat! Ha!
So here's hoping that next week goes more smoothly than the last. I really really love this kid and I really really want good things to happen for him.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Eleventh Kid
And then, just like that, things change at a really bad time.
You know, like they do.
Sounds like parenthood to me.
Over Labor Day Weekend, we had Eleventh kid. He was rad. We loved him. He was super sweet and funny, he knew how tragic his life had been, and could process the shit better than some adults. He still struggled, though, and I thought to myself, this guy needs more one-on-one time. Group homes are going to be hard on him.
We talked to his full-time foster parent about doing respite again in October and November with this kid, so he could get some breaks from the hub-bub and just chill.
Previously, BGA had asked if we were interested in going full-time, and because DW is still getting settled in her new classroom and building lesson plans, and then of course there's all my religiosity at year-end, we thought it best to not even consider it until the new year.
But then when you get a phone call that one of your favorite kids needs a better situation for the next 60 days and that plan includes you, SWEET BABY MOSES, how can you say no?
I couldn't say no.
We couldn't say no.
So we changed our plans.
He arrives in about an hour. Wish us luck.
You know, like they do.
Sounds like parenthood to me.
Over Labor Day Weekend, we had Eleventh kid. He was rad. We loved him. He was super sweet and funny, he knew how tragic his life had been, and could process the shit better than some adults. He still struggled, though, and I thought to myself, this guy needs more one-on-one time. Group homes are going to be hard on him.
We talked to his full-time foster parent about doing respite again in October and November with this kid, so he could get some breaks from the hub-bub and just chill.
Previously, BGA had asked if we were interested in going full-time, and because DW is still getting settled in her new classroom and building lesson plans, and then of course there's all my religiosity at year-end, we thought it best to not even consider it until the new year.
But then when you get a phone call that one of your favorite kids needs a better situation for the next 60 days and that plan includes you, SWEET BABY MOSES, how can you say no?
I couldn't say no.
We couldn't say no.
So we changed our plans.
He arrives in about an hour. Wish us luck.
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Sunday Night, or, I TOLD YOU SO
These kids.
Sunday night always seems to be the night of "I guess you were right, Jo."
Sometimes it's because I know the right way to position the fans to keep their room cool.
Sometimes it's because they end up liking a book or a show I thought they'd like.
Sometimes it's a new food I wanted them to try.
Sometimes my house is not as boring as they'd first thought.
Sometimes I'm just straight-up NICE.
But they figure it out... on the last day.... that I'm on their side....
Tenth Kid? Rad. Funny, sweet, and omigosh this kid is SMOOTH. Wow. WOW. He is going to be breaking hearts, if he hasn't been already. But this is not a story about that.
We just got a PS2. I don't like video games so we didn't have them before, but we were begged -- by every single kid -- to get a system. This PS2 was kindly donated by a co-worker, and another co-worker donated more games.
DW and I decided, however, that there is a catch. For every 30 minutes of video games, they need to log 15 minutes of reading. And yes, graphic novels count as reading. Even books about serial killers. I don't care, as long as you're reading.
We offered this up to TenthKid, and he said, "NOPE. Not worth it."
Huh. Okay, then. Your choice, kiddo.
Tonight, right before lights-out, he sits in front of the bookcase and starts looking through books. And he finds something he likes. And when I go in for lights-out, he says, "I guess you were right, Jo. I like this book."
Sunday night always seems to be the night of "I guess you were right, Jo."
Sometimes it's because I know the right way to position the fans to keep their room cool.
Sometimes it's because they end up liking a book or a show I thought they'd like.
Sometimes it's a new food I wanted them to try.
Sometimes my house is not as boring as they'd first thought.
Sometimes I'm just straight-up NICE.
But they figure it out... on the last day.... that I'm on their side....
Tenth Kid? Rad. Funny, sweet, and omigosh this kid is SMOOTH. Wow. WOW. He is going to be breaking hearts, if he hasn't been already. But this is not a story about that.
We just got a PS2. I don't like video games so we didn't have them before, but we were begged -- by every single kid -- to get a system. This PS2 was kindly donated by a co-worker, and another co-worker donated more games.
DW and I decided, however, that there is a catch. For every 30 minutes of video games, they need to log 15 minutes of reading. And yes, graphic novels count as reading. Even books about serial killers. I don't care, as long as you're reading.
We offered this up to TenthKid, and he said, "NOPE. Not worth it."
Huh. Okay, then. Your choice, kiddo.
Tonight, right before lights-out, he sits in front of the bookcase and starts looking through books. And he finds something he likes. And when I go in for lights-out, he says, "I guess you were right, Jo. I like this book."
Sunday, August 9, 2015
We're Not Boring
Eighth kid? Rad. He was high-needs, so the weekend was exhausting. Still fun. He's really funny, with a prankster sense of humor. Sometimes it went too far, so we had to steer him back. Best ways to keep him occupied? A Rubik's Cube and a Guitar.
Ninth kid? Rad. His bringing-up had been less-than-ideal, so he learned how to advocate for himself. Learned to ask for what he needed, and persist. I really admire this, because it took me a long time to learn to do it. He's sweet and smart, but doesn't like to read. He likes R-rated movies (which aren't allowed at our house) so on the first day, he determined that he was going to be bored all weekend. I told him that was his choice. But last night, wouldn't you know, he told me that he hadn't been bored nearly as much as he thought he would be. (!!!) And even fully participated in picking the movie we watched in the evening.
Next week we are holding a garage sale to thin our possessions a little bit. Like, we don't need seventy dessert plates anymore. Or four tents. Or shirts in the wrong size.
There's also a heap of tomatoes that are starting to ripen in the garden. Next week may involve putting up some sauce.
Well, my mind is focused on breakfast now, and I can't think of anything else to talk about. Maybe I am boring?
Ninth kid? Rad. His bringing-up had been less-than-ideal, so he learned how to advocate for himself. Learned to ask for what he needed, and persist. I really admire this, because it took me a long time to learn to do it. He's sweet and smart, but doesn't like to read. He likes R-rated movies (which aren't allowed at our house) so on the first day, he determined that he was going to be bored all weekend. I told him that was his choice. But last night, wouldn't you know, he told me that he hadn't been bored nearly as much as he thought he would be. (!!!) And even fully participated in picking the movie we watched in the evening.
Next week we are holding a garage sale to thin our possessions a little bit. Like, we don't need seventy dessert plates anymore. Or four tents. Or shirts in the wrong size.
There's also a heap of tomatoes that are starting to ripen in the garden. Next week may involve putting up some sauce.
Well, my mind is focused on breakfast now, and I can't think of anything else to talk about. Maybe I am boring?
Saturday, August 1, 2015
Poop
I went in to the room to turn off the light after eighth kid had fallen asleep with it on.
Me: Gah! The whole room smells like poop!
DW: Welcome to child-rearing.
Me: Gah! The whole room smells like poop!
DW: Welcome to child-rearing.
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Early Sunday Morning
Man, I really like this blogging-while-everyone-else-is-asleep thing. I've had breakfast and coffee, and my wife (do I call her DW now instead of DM? Oh, probably.) and kid #7 are still cozy in bed.
Seventh kid? Rad. He's funny and sweet. We've only had a few hours with him, so I only know these of his virtues.
But we're also babysitting a dog this weekend -- Copper -- and he is adding a whole new dimension to our little family. Oh my heavens, I need a dog. I need one real bad. I mean, LOOK:
Gah! That face! That snout! Those eyebrows! Those whiskers! All stretched out on the bed! And watching him all snuggled up with DW at night warms the cockles of my heart.
So, back to wedding talk, I guess? Ceremony was small and lovely. The photographer said he'll have the pics back soon. Can't wait, cos we looked AWESOME. My father fell ill, and was unable to join, but my mother, sister, and niece were there. DW's family was not present, but her chosen family was.
Our honeymoon was great. Eleven days alone in the car, and we still like each other. Like, a LOT. We make a really good team for traveling (on vacation or down the road of life both included). We had an unfortunate incident in Las Vegas when a car window was smashed and some of our stuff was stolen. Boo. But aside from that, we LOVE Utah (what?) and we LOVE the Redwoods (and not just because of the number of lesbians we encountered there).
Family is stirring. I must away. Have a great week!
Seventh kid? Rad. He's funny and sweet. We've only had a few hours with him, so I only know these of his virtues.
But we're also babysitting a dog this weekend -- Copper -- and he is adding a whole new dimension to our little family. Oh my heavens, I need a dog. I need one real bad. I mean, LOOK:
So, back to wedding talk, I guess? Ceremony was small and lovely. The photographer said he'll have the pics back soon. Can't wait, cos we looked AWESOME. My father fell ill, and was unable to join, but my mother, sister, and niece were there. DW's family was not present, but her chosen family was.
Our honeymoon was great. Eleven days alone in the car, and we still like each other. Like, a LOT. We make a really good team for traveling (on vacation or down the road of life both included). We had an unfortunate incident in Las Vegas when a car window was smashed and some of our stuff was stolen. Boo. But aside from that, we LOVE Utah (what?) and we LOVE the Redwoods (and not just because of the number of lesbians we encountered there).
Family is stirring. I must away. Have a great week!
Monday, June 29, 2015
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Saturday Morning
Coming to you from another early Saturday morning at Big Dyke Mama's house. Everyone's still asleep, so I've been accomplishing a number of tasks off the Lesbian Agenda:
So, last week we had the Fifth Kid, who was rad. Really sweet and funny, but SO SHY. He hardly talked, he didn't eat much. It's really fine, because I'm not here to force anybody to do anything, and I know he had a lot of things going on in his life; a lot to think about. Fifth kid kind of doing his own thing was fine by me.
Sixth Kid (same as the First, and the Third) is with us again this weekend. We celebrated a stellar report card (A's and a B) by going out to dinner, and did a big shop for fun things to do this weekend, including the Pride Parade. (She wants to go, and who am I to deny this impressionable person such an experience?) We'll be marching with my team from work.
You know what else falls on this weekend? I mean, besides your birthday. This weekend is my 20th High School Reunion. And although I promised to myself years ago that there could scarcely be an excuse for me to miss such an event (I was one of those wackos that LOVED high school), this year was just too hard. Three weeks till we get married, Pride Weekend, and the flights were crazy expensive! Plus, my folks are in the middle of packing/moving/selling their house, and that's just another wrench in their monkeys to have me as a houseguest. Blarg. I'm going to miss seeing my High School friends. Go Big Blue!
Speaking of High School, DM got a job this week. Full time, High School Math Teacher. She had doubts about her ability to get hired right out of the gate (she's finishing a Masters), but she full-on got her dream job. So so so so happy for her. And I get to help her set up her classroom which is totally something I love to do! I used to help my Mom set up her classroom every August! YAY!
Okay, back to the Lesbian Agenda!
- Water the front yard
- Water the back yard
- "Feed" the sourdough starter
- Run the dishwasher
- Put sheets in the dryer
- Think about what's for breakfast
So, last week we had the Fifth Kid, who was rad. Really sweet and funny, but SO SHY. He hardly talked, he didn't eat much. It's really fine, because I'm not here to force anybody to do anything, and I know he had a lot of things going on in his life; a lot to think about. Fifth kid kind of doing his own thing was fine by me.
Sixth Kid (same as the First, and the Third) is with us again this weekend. We celebrated a stellar report card (A's and a B) by going out to dinner, and did a big shop for fun things to do this weekend, including the Pride Parade. (She wants to go, and who am I to deny this impressionable person such an experience?) We'll be marching with my team from work.
You know what else falls on this weekend? I mean, besides your birthday. This weekend is my 20th High School Reunion. And although I promised to myself years ago that there could scarcely be an excuse for me to miss such an event (I was one of those wackos that LOVED high school), this year was just too hard. Three weeks till we get married, Pride Weekend, and the flights were crazy expensive! Plus, my folks are in the middle of packing/moving/selling their house, and that's just another wrench in their monkeys to have me as a houseguest. Blarg. I'm going to miss seeing my High School friends. Go Big Blue!
Speaking of High School, DM got a job this week. Full time, High School Math Teacher. She had doubts about her ability to get hired right out of the gate (she's finishing a Masters), but she full-on got her dream job. So so so so happy for her. And I get to help her set up her classroom which is totally something I love to do! I used to help my Mom set up her classroom every August! YAY!
Okay, back to the Lesbian Agenda!
Monday, June 1, 2015
Fourth Kid and a Wedding
Good Evening! Let's get this done just under the wire, okay? (Kind of like last year!)
Today is Mombian's 10th Annual Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day! Here's what we've been working on the past couple of weeks at Big Dyke Mama's house:
In between Kid 3 and Kid 4, we took a little weekend break. We needed a respite from Respite Foster Care, but we were ready to greet parenthood again this week, with renewed enthusiasm.
Fourth kid? Rad. This guy was all of twelve, but he's built like a linebacker, so he looked more like a 14-15 year old. Imagine a 230 lb. kid coming at you and then asking if we could sew or bake or plant flowers. Um, yes and yes and yes. And I love you for being yourself. Keep being rad.
DM and I have also been working on writing our wedding. A long-time good friend of mine will be officiating, but we wanted to have most of the script and structure in place for him. Control freak? Probably.
Being in a lesbian relationship has a lot of perks, obvs, but one of the things I'm currently enjoying is that our queer wedding is already rather non-traditional, so we are less hung up on traditions.
Who proposed? Neither one of us. We have made all other decisions together through negotiation and compromise (moving in together, what's for dinner, who's name is on the water bill), so why would this be any different?
Matching rings? Nope. We bought our own rings. That we will put on our OWN fingers, thankyouverymuch.
Wedding party? Nope. My 5-year-old niece will hold those mis-matched rings, though.
Wedding dress? Red.
But you're hiding it from DM, right? Nope. She helped me pick it out, and has helped me accessorize.
Wedding suit? Whatever DM finds at the Goodwill (or other merchant of her choosing).
Caterers? Nope. Cake and punch.
Special fancy cake? Nope. Trader Joe's Cheesecake. Defrosted the night before.
Special fancy cake topper? Nope. Less than $1 at Michael's. And some paint.
Special fancy honeymoon? Nope. 3200 miles in the station wagon.
A cake and punch backyard wedding is exactly what I wanted. I don't want to feed anybody dinner; that's just silly to me. I wanted to be sure in the ceremony that there was no wordage about giving yourself up, or making forever promises, because that's just asking for trouble; life is so much more complicated than that. I also wanted to be sure that we weren't acquiring any more stuff, but that we'd work toward shared experiences.
And I'm still sure I'm marrying the right person, because DM feels the same. YAY!
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Sorry, I Got Busy Being a Mama.
Good Morning! Everyone's still asleep, so let's just rattle down a list of things we've accomplished and then I'll talk about mah kids.
The Honey-Do List? Done.
Certification? Done.
Training Meeting? Done.
Engagement? Done.
Wedding & Honeymoon? Mostly planned. July. Stay tuned.
We started having kids in our home in late April. Respite Foster Care. Just teenagers, just one at a time, just on weekends.
First kid? Rad. Funny, talented, sweet, helpful, kind. The three of us connected really well. We put it out into the Universe that we'd be happy to host her again, should it ever come up. She put it out into the Universe, too.
Second kid? Rad. Super-polite, helpful, funny, hard-working, sweet. I was kind of worried about having a teenage boy cos I don't have a lot of experience with teenage boys, but he made it easy on us. I think we unlocked an achievement level when we were a lesbian couple at the farmers market with our mixed-race teenager.
Third kid? Same at the first. A little bit huggy, and a not-at-all worse. The Universe (or, you know, her social worker) put us back together. And we're having a great time. Went to the Teddy Bear Parade in Oregon City -- and we both had a great time throwing candy at the crowd! She came with me for a little bit of religious-birthday celebration time, and then we got a see DM off to her gig chaperoning Prom at her school. Then a little shopping trip (this kid loves to shop like I do), then Mike's for cheeseburgers (and fried pickles, COME ON), then a Movie (The Book of Life -- which I need to go buy due to it's feminist lead female) and she played with my hair and makeup (I am so damn pretty)! We may go back to the Clackamette Festival today.... who wants to ride the Ferris Wheel?!?!
Observations in Parenthood, Month One:
I totally thought I would parent like my mother. Our personalities are very similar. But, lo and behold, I parent more like my father. It's kind of hard to explain without making both of my parents sound ridiculous (and they are not quite ridiculous), so I'll just leave it at that.
I thought I'd be super uptight about schedules and meal plans and all that and I'm not. I'm really pretty good about rolling with the punches and altering the schedule as needed. I'm not sure that this will translate exactly when we get to the point of full-time parenting, but for now I'm comfortable with this.
I really am exhausted as fuck, but I am also stupid happy to be doing this. My blood pressure has actually been going DOWN.
But the thing that totally blew my mind is how freakin' turned on I am by DM at the end of the weekend. She is an excellent parent, she is cool and funny, she is a good listener, and she is just generally good at connecting with these kids. It makes sense -- biologically speaking -- that I should be turned on by a partner who has good parenting skills, that I should want to reproduce with said individual. So all this boils down to is that I am totally marrying the right person.
YAY!
The Honey-Do List? Done.
Certification? Done.
Training Meeting? Done.
Engagement? Done.
Wedding & Honeymoon? Mostly planned. July. Stay tuned.
*****
We started having kids in our home in late April. Respite Foster Care. Just teenagers, just one at a time, just on weekends.
First kid? Rad. Funny, talented, sweet, helpful, kind. The three of us connected really well. We put it out into the Universe that we'd be happy to host her again, should it ever come up. She put it out into the Universe, too.
Second kid? Rad. Super-polite, helpful, funny, hard-working, sweet. I was kind of worried about having a teenage boy cos I don't have a lot of experience with teenage boys, but he made it easy on us. I think we unlocked an achievement level when we were a lesbian couple at the farmers market with our mixed-race teenager.
Third kid? Same at the first. A little bit huggy, and a not-at-all worse. The Universe (or, you know, her social worker) put us back together. And we're having a great time. Went to the Teddy Bear Parade in Oregon City -- and we both had a great time throwing candy at the crowd! She came with me for a little bit of religious-birthday celebration time, and then we got a see DM off to her gig chaperoning Prom at her school. Then a little shopping trip (this kid loves to shop like I do), then Mike's for cheeseburgers (and fried pickles, COME ON), then a Movie (The Book of Life -- which I need to go buy due to it's feminist lead female) and she played with my hair and makeup (I am so damn pretty)! We may go back to the Clackamette Festival today.... who wants to ride the Ferris Wheel?!?!
Observations in Parenthood, Month One:
I totally thought I would parent like my mother. Our personalities are very similar. But, lo and behold, I parent more like my father. It's kind of hard to explain without making both of my parents sound ridiculous (and they are not quite ridiculous), so I'll just leave it at that.
I thought I'd be super uptight about schedules and meal plans and all that and I'm not. I'm really pretty good about rolling with the punches and altering the schedule as needed. I'm not sure that this will translate exactly when we get to the point of full-time parenting, but for now I'm comfortable with this.
I really am exhausted as fuck, but I am also stupid happy to be doing this. My blood pressure has actually been going DOWN.
But the thing that totally blew my mind is how freakin' turned on I am by DM at the end of the weekend. She is an excellent parent, she is cool and funny, she is a good listener, and she is just generally good at connecting with these kids. It makes sense -- biologically speaking -- that I should be turned on by a partner who has good parenting skills, that I should want to reproduce with said individual. So all this boils down to is that I am totally marrying the right person.
YAY!
Sunday, March 1, 2015
March Update
Questions are done! Interviews are done!
Our social worker is coming over on March 16 for the Home Visit part of our Home Study.
So, if all goes well, I think we are about a month-and-a-half away from having children in our home.
WHOA.
Still have a few things to check off the punchlist in the next few weeks...
Wish us luck! --BDM
Our social worker is coming over on March 16 for the Home Visit part of our Home Study.
So, if all goes well, I think we are about a month-and-a-half away from having children in our home.
WHOA.
Still have a few things to check off the punchlist in the next few weeks...
- Replace batteries in the smoke detectors
- Install an extra smoke detector
- Install doorknobs (the kind without locks) on the bedroom doors
- Install locks on the liquor cabinet
- Install locks on the cabinets under the kitchen sink
- Get Rabies shots for the kitties
Wish us luck! --BDM
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