Early Sunday Morning

Man, I really like this blogging-while-everyone-else-is-asleep thing.  I've had breakfast and coffee, and my wife (do I call her DW now instead of DM? Oh, probably.) and kid #7 are still cozy in bed.

Seventh kid?  Rad.  He's funny and sweet.  We've only had a few hours with him, so I only know these of his virtues.  

But we're also babysitting a dog this weekend -- Copper -- and he is adding a whole new dimension to our little family.  Oh my heavens, I need a dog.  I need one real bad.  I mean, LOOK:

Gah!  That face!  That snout!  Those eyebrows!  Those whiskers!  All stretched out on the bed!  And watching him all snuggled up with DW at night warms the cockles of my heart.

So, back to wedding talk, I guess?  Ceremony was small and lovely.  The photographer said he'll have the pics back soon.  Can't wait, cos we looked AWESOME.  My father fell ill, and was unable to join, but my mother, sister, and niece were there.  DW's family was not present, but her chosen family was.

Our honeymoon was great.  Eleven days alone in the car, and we still like each other.  Like, a LOT.  We make a really good team for traveling (on vacation or down the road of life both included).  We had an unfortunate incident in Las Vegas when a car window was smashed and some of our stuff was stolen.  Boo.  But aside from that, we LOVE Utah (what?) and we LOVE the Redwoods (and not just because of the number of lesbians we encountered there).

Family is stirring.  I must away.  Have a great week!

Fourth Kid and a Wedding

Good Evening!  Let's get this done just under the wire, okay?  (Kind of like last year!)

Today is Mombian's 10th Annual Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day!  Here's what we've been working on the past couple of weeks at Big Dyke Mama's house:

In between Kid 3 and Kid 4, we took a little weekend break.  We needed a respite from Respite Foster Care, but we were ready to greet parenthood again this week, with renewed enthusiasm.

Fourth kid?  Rad.  This guy was all of twelve, but he's built like a linebacker, so he looked more like a 14-15 year old.  Imagine a 230 lb. kid coming at you and then asking if we could sew or bake or plant flowers.  Um, yes and yes and yes.  And I love you for being yourself.  Keep being rad.

DM and I have also been working on writing our wedding.  A long-time good friend of mine will be officiating, but we wanted to have most of the script and structure in place for him.  Control freak?  Probably.

Being in a lesbian relationship has a lot of perks, obvs, but one of the things I'm currently enjoying is that our queer wedding is already rather non-traditional, so we are less hung up on traditions.

Who proposed?  Neither one of us.  We have made all other decisions together through negotiation and compromise (moving in together, what's for dinner, who's name is on the water bill), so why would this be any different?

Matching rings?  Nope.  We bought our own rings.  That we will put on our OWN fingers, thankyouverymuch.

Wedding party?  Nope.  My 5-year-old niece will hold those mis-matched rings, though.

Wedding dress?  Red.

But you're hiding it from DM, right?  Nope.  She helped me pick it out, and has helped me accessorize.

Wedding suit?  Whatever DM finds at the Goodwill (or other merchant of her choosing).

Caterers?  Nope.  Cake and punch.

Special fancy cake?  Nope.  Trader Joe's Cheesecake.  Defrosted the night before.

Special fancy cake topper?  Nope.  Less than $1 at Michael's.  And some paint.

Special fancy honeymoon?  Nope.  3200 miles in the station wagon.

A cake and punch backyard wedding is exactly what I wanted.  I don't want to feed anybody dinner; that's just silly to me.  I wanted to be sure in the ceremony that there was no wordage about giving yourself up, or making forever promises, because that's just asking for trouble; life is so much more complicated than that.  I also wanted to be sure that we weren't acquiring any more stuff, but that we'd work toward shared experiences.

And I'm still sure I'm marrying the right person, because DM feels the same.  YAY!

Sorry, I Got Busy Being a Mama.

Good Morning!  Everyone's still asleep, so let's just rattle down a list of things we've accomplished and then I'll talk about mah kids.

The Honey-Do List?  Done.

Certification? Done.

Training Meeting? Done.

Engagement?  Done.

Wedding & Honeymoon?  Mostly planned.  July.  Stay tuned.

*****

We started having kids in our home in late April.  Respite Foster Care.  Just teenagers, just one at a time, just on weekends.

First kid?  Rad.  Funny, talented, sweet, helpful, kind.  The three of us connected really well.  We put it out into the Universe that we'd be happy to host her again, should it ever come up.  She put it out into the Universe, too.

Second kid?  Rad.  Super-polite, helpful, funny, hard-working, sweet.  I was kind of worried about having a teenage boy cos I don't have a lot of experience with teenage boys, but he made it easy on us.  I think we unlocked an achievement level when we were a lesbian couple at the farmers market with our mixed-race teenager.

Third kid?  Same at the first.  A little bit huggy, and a not-at-all worse.  The Universe (or, you know, her social worker) put us back together.  And we're having a great time.  Went to the Teddy Bear Parade in Oregon City -- and we both had a great time throwing candy at the crowd!  She came with me for a little bit of religious-birthday celebration time, and then we got a see DM off to her gig chaperoning Prom at her school.  Then a little shopping trip (this kid loves to shop like I do), then Mike's for cheeseburgers (and fried pickles, COME ON), then a Movie (The Book of Life -- which I need to go buy due to it's feminist lead female) and she played with my hair and makeup (I am so damn pretty)!  We may go back to the Clackamette Festival today.... who wants to ride the Ferris Wheel?!?!

Observations in Parenthood, Month One:

I totally thought I would parent like my mother.  Our personalities are very similar.  But, lo and behold, I parent more like my father.  It's kind of hard to explain without making both of my parents sound ridiculous (and they are not quite ridiculous), so I'll just leave it at that.

I thought I'd be super uptight about schedules and meal plans and all that and I'm not.  I'm really pretty good about rolling with the punches and altering the schedule as needed.  I'm not sure that this will translate exactly when we get to the point of full-time parenting, but for now I'm comfortable with this.

I really am exhausted as fuck, but I am also stupid happy to be doing this.  My blood pressure has actually been going DOWN.

But the thing that totally blew my mind is how freakin' turned on I am by DM at the end of the weekend.  She is an excellent parent, she is cool and funny, she is a good listener, and she is just generally good at connecting with these kids.  It makes sense -- biologically speaking -- that I should be turned on by a partner who has good parenting skills, that I should want to reproduce with said individual.  So all this boils down to is that I am totally marrying the right person.

YAY!