Today is Mombian's 10th Annual Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day! Here's what we've been working on the past couple of weeks at Big Dyke Mama's house:
In between Kid 3 and Kid 4, we took a little weekend break. We needed a respite from Respite Foster Care, but we were ready to greet parenthood again this week, with renewed enthusiasm.
Fourth kid? Rad. This guy was all of twelve, but he's built like a linebacker, so he looked more like a 14-15 year old. Imagine a 230 lb. kid coming at you and then asking if we could sew or bake or plant flowers. Um, yes and yes and yes. And I love you for being yourself. Keep being rad.
DM and I have also been working on writing our wedding. A long-time good friend of mine will be officiating, but we wanted to have most of the script and structure in place for him. Control freak? Probably.
Being in a lesbian relationship has a lot of perks, obvs, but one of the things I'm currently enjoying is that our queer wedding is already rather non-traditional, so we are less hung up on traditions.
Who proposed? Neither one of us. We have made all other decisions together through negotiation and compromise (moving in together, what's for dinner, who's name is on the water bill), so why would this be any different?
Matching rings? Nope. We bought our own rings. That we will put on our OWN fingers, thankyouverymuch.
Wedding party? Nope. My 5-year-old niece will hold those mis-matched rings, though.
Wedding dress? Red.
But you're hiding it from DM, right? Nope. She helped me pick it out, and has helped me accessorize.
Wedding suit? Whatever DM finds at the Goodwill (or other merchant of her choosing).
Caterers? Nope. Cake and punch.
Special fancy cake? Nope. Trader Joe's Cheesecake. Defrosted the night before.
Special fancy cake topper? Nope. Less than $1 at Michael's. And some paint.
Special fancy honeymoon? Nope. 3200 miles in the station wagon.
A cake and punch backyard wedding is exactly what I wanted. I don't want to feed anybody dinner; that's just silly to me. I wanted to be sure in the ceremony that there was no wordage about giving yourself up, or making forever promises, because that's just asking for trouble; life is so much more complicated than that. I also wanted to be sure that we weren't acquiring any more stuff, but that we'd work toward shared experiences.
And I'm still sure I'm marrying the right person, because DM feels the same. YAY!
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