The End.
Monday, June 29, 2015
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Saturday Morning
Coming to you from another early Saturday morning at Big Dyke Mama's house. Everyone's still asleep, so I've been accomplishing a number of tasks off the Lesbian Agenda:
So, last week we had the Fifth Kid, who was rad. Really sweet and funny, but SO SHY. He hardly talked, he didn't eat much. It's really fine, because I'm not here to force anybody to do anything, and I know he had a lot of things going on in his life; a lot to think about. Fifth kid kind of doing his own thing was fine by me.
Sixth Kid (same as the First, and the Third) is with us again this weekend. We celebrated a stellar report card (A's and a B) by going out to dinner, and did a big shop for fun things to do this weekend, including the Pride Parade. (She wants to go, and who am I to deny this impressionable person such an experience?) We'll be marching with my team from work.
You know what else falls on this weekend? I mean, besides your birthday. This weekend is my 20th High School Reunion. And although I promised to myself years ago that there could scarcely be an excuse for me to miss such an event (I was one of those wackos that LOVED high school), this year was just too hard. Three weeks till we get married, Pride Weekend, and the flights were crazy expensive! Plus, my folks are in the middle of packing/moving/selling their house, and that's just another wrench in their monkeys to have me as a houseguest. Blarg. I'm going to miss seeing my High School friends. Go Big Blue!
Speaking of High School, DM got a job this week. Full time, High School Math Teacher. She had doubts about her ability to get hired right out of the gate (she's finishing a Masters), but she full-on got her dream job. So so so so happy for her. And I get to help her set up her classroom which is totally something I love to do! I used to help my Mom set up her classroom every August! YAY!
Okay, back to the Lesbian Agenda!
- Water the front yard
- Water the back yard
- "Feed" the sourdough starter
- Run the dishwasher
- Put sheets in the dryer
- Think about what's for breakfast
So, last week we had the Fifth Kid, who was rad. Really sweet and funny, but SO SHY. He hardly talked, he didn't eat much. It's really fine, because I'm not here to force anybody to do anything, and I know he had a lot of things going on in his life; a lot to think about. Fifth kid kind of doing his own thing was fine by me.
Sixth Kid (same as the First, and the Third) is with us again this weekend. We celebrated a stellar report card (A's and a B) by going out to dinner, and did a big shop for fun things to do this weekend, including the Pride Parade. (She wants to go, and who am I to deny this impressionable person such an experience?) We'll be marching with my team from work.
You know what else falls on this weekend? I mean, besides your birthday. This weekend is my 20th High School Reunion. And although I promised to myself years ago that there could scarcely be an excuse for me to miss such an event (I was one of those wackos that LOVED high school), this year was just too hard. Three weeks till we get married, Pride Weekend, and the flights were crazy expensive! Plus, my folks are in the middle of packing/moving/selling their house, and that's just another wrench in their monkeys to have me as a houseguest. Blarg. I'm going to miss seeing my High School friends. Go Big Blue!
Speaking of High School, DM got a job this week. Full time, High School Math Teacher. She had doubts about her ability to get hired right out of the gate (she's finishing a Masters), but she full-on got her dream job. So so so so happy for her. And I get to help her set up her classroom which is totally something I love to do! I used to help my Mom set up her classroom every August! YAY!
Okay, back to the Lesbian Agenda!
Monday, June 1, 2015
Fourth Kid and a Wedding
Good Evening! Let's get this done just under the wire, okay? (Kind of like last year!)
Today is Mombian's 10th Annual Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day! Here's what we've been working on the past couple of weeks at Big Dyke Mama's house:
In between Kid 3 and Kid 4, we took a little weekend break. We needed a respite from Respite Foster Care, but we were ready to greet parenthood again this week, with renewed enthusiasm.
Fourth kid? Rad. This guy was all of twelve, but he's built like a linebacker, so he looked more like a 14-15 year old. Imagine a 230 lb. kid coming at you and then asking if we could sew or bake or plant flowers. Um, yes and yes and yes. And I love you for being yourself. Keep being rad.
DM and I have also been working on writing our wedding. A long-time good friend of mine will be officiating, but we wanted to have most of the script and structure in place for him. Control freak? Probably.
Being in a lesbian relationship has a lot of perks, obvs, but one of the things I'm currently enjoying is that our queer wedding is already rather non-traditional, so we are less hung up on traditions.
Who proposed? Neither one of us. We have made all other decisions together through negotiation and compromise (moving in together, what's for dinner, who's name is on the water bill), so why would this be any different?
Matching rings? Nope. We bought our own rings. That we will put on our OWN fingers, thankyouverymuch.
Wedding party? Nope. My 5-year-old niece will hold those mis-matched rings, though.
Wedding dress? Red.
But you're hiding it from DM, right? Nope. She helped me pick it out, and has helped me accessorize.
Wedding suit? Whatever DM finds at the Goodwill (or other merchant of her choosing).
Caterers? Nope. Cake and punch.
Special fancy cake? Nope. Trader Joe's Cheesecake. Defrosted the night before.
Special fancy cake topper? Nope. Less than $1 at Michael's. And some paint.
Special fancy honeymoon? Nope. 3200 miles in the station wagon.
A cake and punch backyard wedding is exactly what I wanted. I don't want to feed anybody dinner; that's just silly to me. I wanted to be sure in the ceremony that there was no wordage about giving yourself up, or making forever promises, because that's just asking for trouble; life is so much more complicated than that. I also wanted to be sure that we weren't acquiring any more stuff, but that we'd work toward shared experiences.
And I'm still sure I'm marrying the right person, because DM feels the same. YAY!
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Sorry, I Got Busy Being a Mama.
Good Morning! Everyone's still asleep, so let's just rattle down a list of things we've accomplished and then I'll talk about mah kids.
The Honey-Do List? Done.
Certification? Done.
Training Meeting? Done.
Engagement? Done.
Wedding & Honeymoon? Mostly planned. July. Stay tuned.
We started having kids in our home in late April. Respite Foster Care. Just teenagers, just one at a time, just on weekends.
First kid? Rad. Funny, talented, sweet, helpful, kind. The three of us connected really well. We put it out into the Universe that we'd be happy to host her again, should it ever come up. She put it out into the Universe, too.
Second kid? Rad. Super-polite, helpful, funny, hard-working, sweet. I was kind of worried about having a teenage boy cos I don't have a lot of experience with teenage boys, but he made it easy on us. I think we unlocked an achievement level when we were a lesbian couple at the farmers market with our mixed-race teenager.
Third kid? Same at the first. A little bit huggy, and a not-at-all worse. The Universe (or, you know, her social worker) put us back together. And we're having a great time. Went to the Teddy Bear Parade in Oregon City -- and we both had a great time throwing candy at the crowd! She came with me for a little bit of religious-birthday celebration time, and then we got a see DM off to her gig chaperoning Prom at her school. Then a little shopping trip (this kid loves to shop like I do), then Mike's for cheeseburgers (and fried pickles, COME ON), then a Movie (The Book of Life -- which I need to go buy due to it's feminist lead female) and she played with my hair and makeup (I am so damn pretty)! We may go back to the Clackamette Festival today.... who wants to ride the Ferris Wheel?!?!
Observations in Parenthood, Month One:
I totally thought I would parent like my mother. Our personalities are very similar. But, lo and behold, I parent more like my father. It's kind of hard to explain without making both of my parents sound ridiculous (and they are not quite ridiculous), so I'll just leave it at that.
I thought I'd be super uptight about schedules and meal plans and all that and I'm not. I'm really pretty good about rolling with the punches and altering the schedule as needed. I'm not sure that this will translate exactly when we get to the point of full-time parenting, but for now I'm comfortable with this.
I really am exhausted as fuck, but I am also stupid happy to be doing this. My blood pressure has actually been going DOWN.
But the thing that totally blew my mind is how freakin' turned on I am by DM at the end of the weekend. She is an excellent parent, she is cool and funny, she is a good listener, and she is just generally good at connecting with these kids. It makes sense -- biologically speaking -- that I should be turned on by a partner who has good parenting skills, that I should want to reproduce with said individual. So all this boils down to is that I am totally marrying the right person.
YAY!
The Honey-Do List? Done.
Certification? Done.
Training Meeting? Done.
Engagement? Done.
Wedding & Honeymoon? Mostly planned. July. Stay tuned.
*****
We started having kids in our home in late April. Respite Foster Care. Just teenagers, just one at a time, just on weekends.
First kid? Rad. Funny, talented, sweet, helpful, kind. The three of us connected really well. We put it out into the Universe that we'd be happy to host her again, should it ever come up. She put it out into the Universe, too.
Second kid? Rad. Super-polite, helpful, funny, hard-working, sweet. I was kind of worried about having a teenage boy cos I don't have a lot of experience with teenage boys, but he made it easy on us. I think we unlocked an achievement level when we were a lesbian couple at the farmers market with our mixed-race teenager.
Third kid? Same at the first. A little bit huggy, and a not-at-all worse. The Universe (or, you know, her social worker) put us back together. And we're having a great time. Went to the Teddy Bear Parade in Oregon City -- and we both had a great time throwing candy at the crowd! She came with me for a little bit of religious-birthday celebration time, and then we got a see DM off to her gig chaperoning Prom at her school. Then a little shopping trip (this kid loves to shop like I do), then Mike's for cheeseburgers (and fried pickles, COME ON), then a Movie (The Book of Life -- which I need to go buy due to it's feminist lead female) and she played with my hair and makeup (I am so damn pretty)! We may go back to the Clackamette Festival today.... who wants to ride the Ferris Wheel?!?!
Observations in Parenthood, Month One:
I totally thought I would parent like my mother. Our personalities are very similar. But, lo and behold, I parent more like my father. It's kind of hard to explain without making both of my parents sound ridiculous (and they are not quite ridiculous), so I'll just leave it at that.
I thought I'd be super uptight about schedules and meal plans and all that and I'm not. I'm really pretty good about rolling with the punches and altering the schedule as needed. I'm not sure that this will translate exactly when we get to the point of full-time parenting, but for now I'm comfortable with this.
I really am exhausted as fuck, but I am also stupid happy to be doing this. My blood pressure has actually been going DOWN.
But the thing that totally blew my mind is how freakin' turned on I am by DM at the end of the weekend. She is an excellent parent, she is cool and funny, she is a good listener, and she is just generally good at connecting with these kids. It makes sense -- biologically speaking -- that I should be turned on by a partner who has good parenting skills, that I should want to reproduce with said individual. So all this boils down to is that I am totally marrying the right person.
YAY!
Sunday, March 1, 2015
March Update
Questions are done! Interviews are done!
Our social worker is coming over on March 16 for the Home Visit part of our Home Study.
So, if all goes well, I think we are about a month-and-a-half away from having children in our home.
WHOA.
Still have a few things to check off the punchlist in the next few weeks...
Wish us luck! --BDM
Our social worker is coming over on March 16 for the Home Visit part of our Home Study.
So, if all goes well, I think we are about a month-and-a-half away from having children in our home.
WHOA.
Still have a few things to check off the punchlist in the next few weeks...
- Replace batteries in the smoke detectors
- Install an extra smoke detector
- Install doorknobs (the kind without locks) on the bedroom doors
- Install locks on the liquor cabinet
- Install locks on the cabinets under the kitchen sink
- Get Rabies shots for the kitties
Wish us luck! --BDM
Saturday, September 6, 2014
More Learning
This morning, DM and I are off to another training put on by Boys & Girls Aid. I think this one is about Teenagers in Foster Care, which is where our focus will be.
We've been assembling some of our paperwork for the Foster Care application, and today we're turning in what we have so far, also.
Our extra insurance is all set up, budgeting done, some of the medical stuff done (I still need a physical) and our huge questionnaires are being worked on. So! Many! Questions!
Maybe I'll post some of the answers here... some interesting stuff has come up in them.
Happy Saturday, all!
We've been assembling some of our paperwork for the Foster Care application, and today we're turning in what we have so far, also.
Our extra insurance is all set up, budgeting done, some of the medical stuff done (I still need a physical) and our huge questionnaires are being worked on. So! Many! Questions!
Maybe I'll post some of the answers here... some interesting stuff has come up in them.
Happy Saturday, all!
Monday, June 2, 2014
#LGBTQfamilies
Hey! It's been a couple of months since I posted -- oops -- but today is Mombian's 9th Annual Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day! So let's talk about what's been happening in Big Dyke Mama's Family!
In April, DM and I submitted our application to adopt out of the foster care system. While they like us (and who wouldn't? We're adorable), because we hadn't yet been together for a full year, they recommended waiting at least six more months before submitting for the Homestudy. The reason being that when the Homestudy is written, they will state how long we've been together, not the date we got together. So even if our Homestudy is submitted to a caseworker in 2016, it will still say that we've been together for a year, NOT that we've been together since May of 2013. Eeek! So, waiting a bit improves our chances of not having our Homestudy dismissed out of hand.
In the meantime, we are going to work toward being respite care providers for foster kids. It will require mandatory monthly meetings with the agency, but that's no problem.
In May, DM and I celebrated our one-year anniversary by re-creating our first date. My co-worker thought that was so romantic she cried when I told her.
Also in May, Marriage Equality came to Oregon! That's big news! Will DM and Big Dyke Mama be tying the knot?
It'll make the paperwork easier...
It'll make taxes easier...
And, you know, love and all that mushy stuff...
But no proposals or decisions have been made, so stay tuned.
That's enough excitement for tonight! Be blessed --Big Dyke Mama
In April, DM and I submitted our application to adopt out of the foster care system. While they like us (and who wouldn't? We're adorable), because we hadn't yet been together for a full year, they recommended waiting at least six more months before submitting for the Homestudy. The reason being that when the Homestudy is written, they will state how long we've been together, not the date we got together. So even if our Homestudy is submitted to a caseworker in 2016, it will still say that we've been together for a year, NOT that we've been together since May of 2013. Eeek! So, waiting a bit improves our chances of not having our Homestudy dismissed out of hand.
In the meantime, we are going to work toward being respite care providers for foster kids. It will require mandatory monthly meetings with the agency, but that's no problem.
In May, DM and I celebrated our one-year anniversary by re-creating our first date. My co-worker thought that was so romantic she cried when I told her.
Also in May, Marriage Equality came to Oregon! That's big news! Will DM and Big Dyke Mama be tying the knot?
It'll make the paperwork easier...
It'll make taxes easier...
And, you know, love and all that mushy stuff...
But no proposals or decisions have been made, so stay tuned.
That's enough excitement for tonight! Be blessed --Big Dyke Mama
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