I'm Not Telling.

I'm still madly in love with my Acupuncturist.

I told him the good news today, and we high-fived.  He's totally "pumped."  He said so several times.  He couldn't stop smiling the whole appointment.  Everything, according to him, is going just right.

And I also don't have to drink that gawd-awful tea anymore.

Apparently, Acupuncturists have a special sort of magic magic where they can predict the sex of the baby with the pulses being stronger on one side over the other.

So, whether, at week six, this is actually diagnostic is up for debate, I still have an idea of what might be.  It coincides with what Thuper Thpermth, Z, my Mother and I all suspect.

But I'm not telling you.  Hah-hah!

It COULD Be a Good Day...

I woke up this morning feeling awesome.  Like, no nausea, no cramps, good energy... a great set up to have a great day.

I ate a protein bar on my drive into work, and started feeling a little iffy.  Maybe it was just a bad ratio of sugar and protein, I told myself.  I started my workday, ate some cottage cheese and crackers, drank some tea, ran some analyses, talked with my engineer... regular stuff.

Some of my office people left for the day, something going on in the Capital City.  I started to feel extra, extra tired and achey.  I started to feel feverish.  My sniffles and sneezes were getting out of control, my throat was getting sore.

At first I thought it was just a more intensely-symptomed pregnancy day, but it appears as though I have the Flu.  I got my flu shot 10 days ago... and it takes two weeks to gain effectiveness.  But I'll be doubley-protected for the season now.

So I celebrate six weeks today by going home with the Flu!  Hooray!

Just put me to bed.

I am really over-tired lately.  I mean, really, I'm growing a whole new organ AND a whole new person.  This is hard work and lovely work that my body is doing.

I broke up with my girlfriend today.  Let's just say it's me and not her, and I hope we stay friends, because she's awesome.

I just need to go to bed and sleep off the day.

I think I'd better eat a little more protein first.

Auntie Z's House

Okay, even though I wanted nothing more than to go straight home after work and go straight to bed tonight, Z convinced me to follow her home with tales of green chile enchiladas (with sour cream, naturally) and a chance to paw through her Goodwill bags before she drops them off.

See, Z lost like 50 gazillion pounds this year after being diagnosed with Diabetes and therefore eating fewer sweets and more vegetables.  Her old clothes don't fit like they once did.  I, too, recently lost some weight (albeit not quite so much), and so I have a little bit of "growing" room in some of my clothes to get me through for awhile, but Auntie Z's treasure-trove of plus-size lovelies was just... so... lovely.

While she slaved away in the kitchen, I put on a fashion show.  For emphasis on how well -- and how long -- these clothes would fit me, I modeled with pillows under my shirt.  Some of the tops are so comfy and loose-fitting that I wouldn't be surprised if they carry me to the end of June!

She sent me home with eight tops, three pairs of pants, two dresses, a skirt and a slip.  And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.  Whereas these goodies were just bound for the Goodwill, I betcha Auntie Z saved me several hundred dollars in in-between clothing.  And so cute!!

Something else Z did for me tonight was introduce Little Homer (or Poppyseed, or Cinnamon Pizza Roll, or McNugget) to our first pregnancy taste aversions.  YES!!!

First taste aversion: Brussels Sprouts.  I love them in real life, but today, NO WAY.
Second taste aversion: Turkey.  It was in the enchiladas.  I ate it, but I secretly wished they were vegetarian enchiladas.  And I drowned them in sour cream.
Third taste aversion: Cheesecake-Flavored Pudding.  I couldn't even stand the smell of it.  In real life, I think it's delicious.  Even if it doesn't really taste like cheesecake.

Now it's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay past my bedtime and so I'll say Goodnight.

GOODNIGHT!

Poppyseed Represent!

Let's add some more things to the list today, shall we?

Tender breasts.

Constipation.

Also, Indian food was not the way to go last night.  Yikes.

Carry on!

And There It Is.

Dear Magic Baby Stick,

Am I pregnant for real?

Love, 

Big Dyke Mama

This is from yesterday morning, and all I wanted to do when I got home from work yesterday was sleep, so you get it today.  Sorry it's fuzzy, but it was 5:15am and I wasn't into fucking with the camera.  And I may or may not have been too busy jumping up and down.  So, there it is.  It's real.

Had a bit of trouble focusing at work yesterday, as you might imagine.  And we're now up to THREE co-workers who've asked me if I'm pregnant in the last few days.  So something's up.  Was someone peeking over my shoulder when I was filling out the intake form for flu shots the other day and checked the "pregnant" box?  Cos they gotta know that's 1) illegal and 2) bad form to barrage me with questions to try to get the scoop.

In theory, no scoop till Christmastime, but this Mama's no good at secrets and I may not last that long.  I'm pretty sure I'll tell my boss in a week or so.

Lessons learned yesterday:  Protein is your BFF.  I started out the morning with a co-worker's homemade cinnamon rolls (I hate cinnamon rolls, but had been craving them.  Weird.) but a few minutes later I just wanted to toss them.  Early morning sugar=ohgawdkillmenow.  I ran across the street and had them make me a breakfast burrito with tofu in place of eggs, and that settled everything out.  I am going to have to keep a tub of cottage cheese handy in the work fridge and a pack of jerky in my desk.  Give this Mama her protein and nobody gets hurt.

Also, I am digesting food at lightning speed.  Usually, meals would sit in my belly for hours.  That's just not happening right now.  I am going to have to start carrying Luna Bars in my purse.

Also, bleeding gums is a real thing.  My mouth feels crazy-torn-up.  I have a dentist appointment in November, so I think I'll just hang tight until then, gently brushing and flossing as usual.

I haven't noticed any food/smell aversions yet, but the weird cravings I've had so far for things that I don't normally like are: Cinnamon Rolls (like I mentioned before), Orange Juice, Pizza, and Spaghetti & Meatballs.  <-- I know.  It's unAmerican to dislike these things.  But it's just the way it is.

 

But yesterday I had a nice lunch with Aunt J, and then Z came by my desk with a card and celebratory Russian chocolate.  Gawd, I love Russian chocolate.

~~~~

This morning I woke up and my first thought was, "Why do I feel like I have to barf?"

OH YEAH.

Welcome to Morning Sickness!  Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahoooooooooooooooooo!

Could it be true?

Seriously heart-breaking couple o' weeks we've had here -- I think there is some universal astrological nonsense that has been stirred up -- so I almost hesitate to post good (!!!) news.

Three positive pregnancy tests.  For reals.  Although, the test line is waaaaay lighter than the control line.  Like too pale to photograph.  Because I totally would post you a picture if I could.  But I'm pretty sure that pale lines still count.

And because three tests are not enough for this good-news skeptic (not usually, just lately), I'm totally testing again in the morning, but this time, we're going digital, baby.

I'll call the doctor soon.

Also, today two co-workers asked me, in unrelated, random conversations, if I was pregnant.  This must be coming off me like diesel fumes.

Fingers, toes, and legs crossed!  Stick, Little Homer*! Stick!

*Little Homer: my Cute Dad came up with this one.  Homer, fortunately or un-, is a family name, and Dadzilla has promised me fortunes if I use "Homer" in a child's name.  So until we come up with something better....

Here We Go!

Did I mention that we're having a tough week?  Blah.

We were able to get in three inseminations (Monday, Tuesday and Thursday), and that was all we could muster in our SHOCK AND AWWWW strategy amidst the chaos.  I'm feeling pretty confident, and just trying to carry on business-as-usual.

My girlfriend and I were able to go out on a real date last night -- it had been about three weeks due to the various nonsense going on in our respective lives.  I ate my fish portion for the week, as now I have to start eating for Schrodinger's Zygote.  I also had an adult beverage, but don't tell anyone (what?  It's not like anything would have implanted yet).

This afternoon is prayers at M.O.L.'s place.... I have handfuls of people I need to pray for today, including myself.

Would appreciate any and all smooth-sailing and baby-shaped thoughts and prayers you want to send out into the Universe!  Welcome to the TWW!

Cry Cry Cry

Okay, based on the number of concerned phone calls, texts, and emails I've received, you guys are worried about me.  I get it.  I haven't posted in a few weeks, and you wonder if I'm still crying.

Well, I am.  Although it's not from not being pregnant, it's other stuff relating to other people in my life.  Let's just say that Cancer and Heart Disease can suck a bag of dicks.  I've cried so damn much today.  And then I chopped onions for soup and that didn't help.

October marks the last month of my contract with Thuper Thperms.  In November, Thuper Thperms is asking for a break, and December and January I'm busy/traveling, so if October doesn't take, and we decide to renew, then nothing's gonna happen till February.

So October's strategy is SHOCK AND AWE; or, since we're talking about babies, SHOCK AND AWWWW!  We started two days before ovulation and the plan was to hit it every. damn. day. until that temperature spike.  But here we are, day three, and we're all so weary from worrying about and taking care of our loved ones (see above notes regarding Cancer and Heart Disease), that we couldn't muster it and punked out.  I hope we can pick it back up tomorrow, cos time's a-wastin'.

I'm trying to NOT think about what happens if this month doesn't take.  What I AM thinking about is the circular nature of life.  Out of something bad comes something good and vicey-versey.  With all the suck going on around me, could it be to usher in something wonderful?

Good-night, all.  If you want to come by for dinner tomorrow, I'll have an autumn-squash soup and gf/df biscuits.  And a syringe full of genetic material, although that doesn't go in your mouth.