Cry Cry Cry

Okay, based on the number of concerned phone calls, texts, and emails I've received, you guys are worried about me.  I get it.  I haven't posted in a few weeks, and you wonder if I'm still crying.

Well, I am.  Although it's not from not being pregnant, it's other stuff relating to other people in my life.  Let's just say that Cancer and Heart Disease can suck a bag of dicks.  I've cried so damn much today.  And then I chopped onions for soup and that didn't help.

October marks the last month of my contract with Thuper Thperms.  In November, Thuper Thperms is asking for a break, and December and January I'm busy/traveling, so if October doesn't take, and we decide to renew, then nothing's gonna happen till February.

So October's strategy is SHOCK AND AWE; or, since we're talking about babies, SHOCK AND AWWWW!  We started two days before ovulation and the plan was to hit it every. damn. day. until that temperature spike.  But here we are, day three, and we're all so weary from worrying about and taking care of our loved ones (see above notes regarding Cancer and Heart Disease), that we couldn't muster it and punked out.  I hope we can pick it back up tomorrow, cos time's a-wastin'.

I'm trying to NOT think about what happens if this month doesn't take.  What I AM thinking about is the circular nature of life.  Out of something bad comes something good and vicey-versey.  With all the suck going on around me, could it be to usher in something wonderful?

Good-night, all.  If you want to come by for dinner tomorrow, I'll have an autumn-squash soup and gf/df biscuits.  And a syringe full of genetic material, although that doesn't go in your mouth.